Do Americans Really Care About Caring?

The evidence says no

Hello and welcome back to all Chaise Lounge readers! As the American Congress fights tooth and nail over all things budgetary this week, the fate of those who care for one another hangs in the balance. In a uniquely American way, our focus on individualism has created a scenario in which working Americans feel that they cannot care for their families without penalty. Why do we only give lip service to the helpers in our society?

We will talk about this more in the main article, but before we get to that, I am running an experiment and will need your feedback dear readers. You will receive a link to an audio version of this week’s main article, so if you just want to listen as you drive or walk or do whatever, that is now an option. I would love to know if you listen and would appreciate your thoughts. Okay, onto our weekly updates!

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Global Updates

• Earlier this year, the Chinese government encouraged families to have three children. But young parents were not interested in having more children. This week, the Chinese government released a new health plan that contained one sentence stating that the government will reduce the number of “medically unnecessary” abortions. While the plan also included expanding access to contraception and sex education, China’s history of controlling women’s reproductive capacities leaves many with questions and suspicions.

  

  Photo by Jerry Wang on Unsplash

• Germany’s most recent elections to Parliament surprised many including some of the candidates when two transgender women candidates won their races. Tessa Ganserer and Nyke Slawik who both ran in the Greens Party plan to work toward allowing lesbian couples to adopt, changing gender identity categories on government forms, and reducing homophobia and transphobia.

National Updates

• Singer R. Kelly was found guilty of all nine federal sex trafficking and racketeering charges in the harrowing five-week trial that included many of the female survivors of his abuse. He faces anywhere from ten years to life in prison. Sentencing will occur on May 4, 2022. This is not the last federal trial he will face either as he is also charged with child pornography.

• The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has put out an urgent call for anyone who may become pregnant or is pregnant to be vaccinated against COVID-19. The CDC cites a large number of cases in pregnant people, over 125,000, with more than 22,000 hospitalizations and 161 deaths. The CDC recommends coronavirus vaccines “before or during pregnancy because the benefits of vaccination outweigh known or potential risks.”

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Do Americans Really Care About Caring?

The evidence says no

Photo by Jhon David on Unsplash

Back in 1983 when I was 21 years young and thought I knew everything, I put my foot in my mouth so hard that I could feel it all the way down to my toes. You see, I had completely bought into the social narrative that a working woman had worth, and those women who chose to stay at home were wasting their lives on housework and children. I thought I could have it all, and it would be great.

My future husband and I were at his aunt and uncle’s house where I announced that I would never be a stay-at-home mom. Stupid me. His aunt was a “stay-at-home-mom” and piped right up to put me in my place as I slowly slid down in my seat. I am so glad she did because she made me take a step back and think about the narrative I was spewing. 

Now, she did not change my mind about working. I still feel that it is important for everyone to have the ability to support themselves. And for many of us, work gives us purpose. With the high divorce rate in this country, everyone needs the ability to take care of their own needs. However, what I recognized was the work that people who stay at home do also has incredible economic and social worth. And that is the part of the story that is not told enough. 

The partners who stay at home to care for the home, children, or other family members provide caregiving that goes unrecognized economically. These are also the folks who keep many of our social welfare organizations afloat by volunteering at food banks, Meals on Wheels, PTAs, leading scout troops, and the list goes on. The majority of these people are women who are not compensated for this work. And it is work. 

By not giving this work economic value, we set a trap for those who do the work. If they decide or simply need to enter the workforce, they are penalized for not having “worked”. Which is of course, ridiculous, because they were working, just not for pay. 

I recently read an article recommending that we retire the term “working mother”. I could not agree more.  Somehow, we created separate labels for women who stay home with their children and those who are paid for their work. The term “stay at home mom” implies that the woman never leaves the house and has little economic or social value. These labels have led to resentment frequently labeled the “Mommy Wars.” Isn’t that cute?

While the economic value of a partner who stays at home and does not work in the paid workforce is frequently discounted, we know that work has inherent value. When both partners work outside the home, they often hire others to complete some of that work (if they can afford to), whether it is childcare, house cleaning, or food preparation. 

The fact is, that whether or not you have children, we all have caregiving needs at some point in our life. Whether it is for ourselves, a child, a sick sibling, or an elderly relative, all employees need to be able to take time for caregiving. For employers to pretend otherwise is a way of gaslighting their workers into feeling guilty or less than for simply caring for their family members.

American employers ignore this truth leading to many poor outcomes. Lack of paid leave and universal health care is responsible for our embarrassing level of maternal and fetal mortality. Our lack of universal preschool education is connected to poorer long-term educational outcomes. 

We need a complete and total rethink of what caregiving means, its economic value, who does it, and how we can support that caregiving. The Biden administration’s American Families Plan is attempting to do this. With investments in paid leave, universal Pre-K for three and four-year-olds, and supplemental funds for child care, the plan paves the way for families to be able to manage two careers and having children without one adult having to give up their career. This is an economic benefit for all Americans.

We have yet to see if it will pass, and if it does, how much of the funding for caregiving will stay, but the bill is definitely opening the conversation on a national level. This is the first time that we have seen a president try to address all flavors of caregiving in a major piece of legislation. We will see how far it gets, but there is no doubt there will be more work to do in this arena.